- Reference Number: HEY286/2023
- Departments: Gynaecology
- Last Updated: 31 October 2023
Introduction
This leaflet was produced to give you information about counselling and support services available, if you are considering the termination of your pregnancy. This leaflet explains what support is available to you and how to access it. The leaflet also provides information about the emotional impact of pregnancy and answers some frequently asked questions.
Although this document refers to the term woman/women, it is applicable to anyone that can become pregnant regardless of whether you identify as a woman or not.
Most of your questions should be answered by this leaflet. It is not intended to replace the discussion between you and your nurse/doctor, but may act as a starting point for discussion. If after reading it you have any concerns or require further explanation, please discuss this with a member of the team caring for you.
Making the decision
Whilst some women have very definite views about their unplanned pregnancy others describe feeling uncertain and confused, as if their head is telling one thing and their heart another. If this is the case for you then one of our support staff may be able to help.
The support staff are trained nurses, social workers and counsellors who will give you time to help you consider your options, so that you can chose the best decision for you. The Support staff will:
- Listen to you
- Ensure that you have all the information you need to make your decision
- Help you decide what you want to do
- Assist you if you need to access counselling before, during and following the termination
Post-termination support
Following a termination, women can experience a variety of emotions and feelings, some of which may appear contradictory. Although you may have chosen to have a termination of pregnancy, it can sometimes be a confusing and painful emotional experience afterwards. You may feel relieved but also quite sad.
Sometimes there are feelings of loss but these normally decrease with time. It is important to remember that all women are different and there is no standard amount of time that it takes for a woman to put her termination experience behind her.
After your termination of pregnancy, you may want to talk to someone who will listen and understand and it is often easier to talk to someone disconnected from what has happened rather than friends or family. If this is so, then our counsellors may help.
The Counselling Service offers short-term counselling to support women before, during and following the termination. Your counsellor will listen to you with respect and without judging you. They will not offer you instructions or solutions. They will offer you time, space and use their professional skills to help you explore your thoughts and feelings so that you can deal with the problems you are facing now. Counselling may help you through a difficult time and enable you to manage again.
The Counselling Service is based in Hull and most counselling sessions take place there. There is an optoin for a face to face consultation or a telephone consultation.
How to contact the Counselling and Support Service
If you need support to make a decision about a termination of pregnancy then discuss this with your health worker at the time your pregnancy is confirmed. They will then access a counsellor in the clinic during your care.
If you need to meet/speak with a counsellor you can either:
- Inform nursing staff at the hospital or clinic you are attending for your termination at any time; or
- Self-refer to our confidential Counselling Service direct by telephoning on tel: 01482 844038
Some frequently asked questions:
How will I feel after the termination?
Feelings following a termination of pregnancy depend upon the individual person and their circumstances. After a termination of pregnancy, some women feel a sense of loss, even when they believe their decision was right. Others may feel relief. There is no evidence that termination of pregnancy causes long term depression or trauma, providing the procedure was your choice. However, some women find that the fluctuation in their hormone levels following a termination of pregnancy does result in mood changes. It is therefore common for women to feel sensitive and irritable whilst the hormones levels in their bodies adjust.
Initially you may feel a sense of relief and then later other feelings may include
- sadness
- emptiness
- numbness
- grief
- guilt and shame
- anger
- sense of loss
- depression
Some women experience other problems, such as:
- being unable to be near pregnant women or young babies
- tension in their relationships
- bad dreams or nightmares
- wanting another baby straight away
- avoiding baby pictures in magazines or on the television
- loss of self esteem
- preoccupation with the termination
These are common problems, which usually subside with time. However it is important that you seek help if you think they are becoming unmanageable for you.
What if I change my mind?
Remember, even if you have booked a date for your termination you can still change your mind right up until the date of procedure. In the case of a Medical Termination this means until you have taken the Mifepristone tablet (stage one). In the case of a Surgical Termination it means until you are prepared for the procedure, either the day before (if you are required to take a Mifepristone tablet), or on the day of the procedure before you have taken medication called Misoprostol. If you do change your mind it is important that you tell a member of the nursing staff as soon as possible.
Should I tell my friends and relatives?
You may need time to think about whom to tell. You may benefit from sharing your feelings with friends and relatives, however the choice is yours and you may prefer to keep these thoughts to yourself.
How soon can I have sex afterwards?
Sexual intercourse should be avoided for two weeks or until vaginal bleeding stops. This may be a time when you and your partner discover other ways of fulfilling your sexual needs. If you find it impossible to wait, use a condom to help prevent infection.
Will I feel differently about sex?
There are no reasons why a termination of pregnancy will necessarily affect your feelings about sexual intercourse, but if contraception has failed, this in itself might make you feel insecure and worry about further unplanned pregnancies. You will have an opportunity to discuss and plan your future contraception before you leave the hospital.
The termination is affecting my relationship, what can I do?
It can be very difficult to cope with an unplanned pregnancy, particularly if you both have different expectations from your relationship. One of the hardest situations can be when there is a difference of opinion over continuing the pregnancy. It may be helpful to seek professional help if you find that your relationship is suffering. Relate offer counselling to couples experiencing problems in their relationship. They can be contacted locally on tel: 01482 329621.
If you think that you might prefer to discuss your problems on an individual basis, then you can discuss the availability of counselling with your GP. Alternatively, you can self-refer to ‘Let’s Talk’ on tel: 01482 247111 or make an online referral at : https://www.letstalkhull.co.uk/pages/make-a-referral
Will the fetus feel any pain?
The stage at which a pregnancy is terminated by the hospital is too early in the development of the pregnancy for pain to be experienced.
Will I know the sex of the fetus?
No. The method of termination and the stage at which it is carried out in the hospital means that it is impossible to determine the sex of the pregnancy.
I still have lots of unanswered questions – who can I ask?
There may be questions you did not ask at the clinic, or questions you have thought of since. If these questions are playing on your mind you are welcome to contact the service. If your question/s cannot be answered immediately, a member of the pregnancy advisory service will return your call at a time that is convenient to you.
Should you require further advice on the issues contained in this leaflet, please do not hesitate to contact the Gynaecology Department.
Gynaecology Outpatients tel: 01482 607829, Women and Children’s Hospital
Counselling Services tel: 01482 844038
The Hull and East Riding Sexual and Reproductive Health www.conifersexhealth.co.uk
Family Planning Association www.fpa.org.uk
British pregnancy Advisory Service tel: 08457 304030 www.bpas.org.uk
Marie Stopes Organisation Tel: 0845 3008090 www.mariestopes.org.uk
Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologist www.rcog.org.uk
General Advice and Consent
Most of your questions should have been answered by this leaflet/booklet, but remember that this is only a starting point for discussion with your doctor. You will be asked to sign a consent form and you should be satisfied that you have received enough information before going ahead.
Consent to Treatment
Before any doctor, nurse or therapist examines or treats you, they must seek your consent or permission. In order to make a decision, you need to have information from health professionals about the treatment or investigation which is being offered to you. You should always ask them more questions if you do not understand or if you want more information.
For your procedure you will be given both verbal and written information and after having time to ask questions, you will be asked to sign a consent form to show you have received enough information and you understand it. The information you receive should be about your condition, the alternatives available to you, and whether it carries risks as well as the benefits. What is important is that your consent is genuine or valid. That means:
- you must be able to give your consent
- you must be given enough information to enable you to make a decision
- you must be acting under your own free will and not under the strong influence of another person
How much do I need to know?
Some people want to know as much as possible about their condition and possible treatments; others prefer to leave decisions to the experts. No one providing healthcare will force information on you, for example, about the risks of treatment if you do not want to know. Remember, the person in the best position to know what matters most is you.
Information about you
We collect and use your information to provide you with care and treatment. As part of your care, your information will be shared between members of the healthcare team, some of whom you may not meet. Your information may also be used to help train staff, to check the quality of our care, to manage and plan the health service and to help with research. Wherever possible we use anonymous data.
We may pass on relevant information to other health or social organisations that provide you with care. All information is treated as strictly confidential and is not given to anyone who does not need it. If you have any concerns please ask your doctor, or the person caring for you.
Under the General Data Protection Regulation and the Data Protection Act 2018 we are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of any information we hold about you. For further information visit the following page: Confidential Information about You. www.hey.nhs.uk/privacy/data-protection
This leaflet was produced by the Gynaecology Department, Hull University Teaching Hospitals Trust and will be reviewed in October 2026.
General Advice and Consent
Most of your questions should have been answered by this leaflet, but remember that this is only a starting point for discussion with the healthcare team.
Consent to treatment
Before any doctor, nurse or therapist examines or treats you, they must seek your consent or permission. In order to make a decision, you need to have information from health professionals about the treatment or investigation which is being offered to you. You should always ask them more questions if you do not understand or if you want more information.
The information you receive should be about your condition, the alternatives available to you, and whether it carries risks as well as the benefits. What is important is that your consent is genuine or valid. That means:
- you must be able to give your consent
- you must be given enough information to enable you to make a decision
- you must be acting under your own free will and not under the strong influence of another person
Information about you
We collect and use your information to provide you with care and treatment. As part of your care, information about you will be shared between members of a healthcare team, some of whom you may not meet. Your information may also be used to help train staff, to check the quality of our care, to manage and plan the health service, and to help with research. Wherever possible we use anonymous data.
We may pass on relevant information to other health organisations that provide you with care. All information is treated as strictly confidential and is not given to anyone who does not need it. If you have any concerns please ask your doctor, or the person caring for you.
Under the General Data Protection Regulation and the Data Protection Act 2018 we are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of any information we hold about you. For further information visit the following page: Confidential Information about You.
If you or your carer needs information about your health and wellbeing and about your care and treatment in a different format, such as large print, braille or audio, due to disability, impairment or sensory loss, please advise a member of staff and this can be arranged.
